Who's Old?

Before you read this poem aloud,

You'd better warn those who might brood,

That there are one or two references here,

They might think a little bit rude!

You see, Christmas time for older folk,

Is not quite the same as before,

When we were younger and everyone,

Came flocking to our front door!

But time has gone by, just like a shot!

Since Al Jolson sang, the coloured coon,

The world has changed at an amazing rate.

They've even had men on the moon!

If only they knew, when they see our bent backs,

And gaze down upon our white hairs,

The mischief that we did, way in the past,

Up and down those 'apples and pears'!

In the days of our youth,

We made quite a sight!

Doing time after time,

What now takes all night!

We'd sing and dance and crack a joke,

And have a drink, or three.

The children would be put to bed,

Well, those who came up to the knee!

But as time drifted by, they drifted away,

They had their own lives to lead.

The house became quiet and no one called,

They thought that we’d gone to seed!

So we spend much of our time remembering,

When we were young and had a few bob.

'The Pictures' then were all the rage.

If you'd got a reasonable job.

The House lights would go down,

The cinema screen would glow.

But all the fast action,

Was in the back row!

The screen showed an Arab, galloping away,

Over the dunes and the drifting sands.

But the back row was full of excited females,

Fighting off innumerable inquisitive hands!

The film would be forgotten, it was a heck of a lark!

But, when the usherette came, flashing her light,

Dresses would be smoothed and faces were red,

So red that they glowed in the night!

People must remember that we did our bit,

And now that we've had to retire,

It doesn’t mean that the grate has gone cold,

Or that we're lacking in fire!

We're as good today, as ever we were!

Although we may have the odd ache or two,

And we're stiff in the joints, and can't race around,

But there's still some hot air in the flue!

Oh yes! The world has changed out of sight!

And it happens to us all, my dear,

So give us a thought and a visit now and then,

And bring us a little good cheer.

We've just got a little bit older that's all,

And I wonder what tomorrow will bring,

Let's hope an increase in the pension we get,

'Cos that would make us all sing!

So come on lads and lasses, let's have a song,

And let us rejoice once more!

I'll pull your crackers, if you pinch my nuts.

But make sure that you've closed the door!

by A. Jing.

NB. ‘Apples & Pears – cockney rhyming slang for ‘stairs’.

‘Few bob’ meaning ‘a few shillings’ – old English currency now only worth ten pence.

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