Gambling doesn’t mean much to me

I might have the odd bet or two

But others are almost fanatical

So what does wagering achieve for you?

For a start it gets rid of your money

Which you’ve laboured so hard to earn

Its not as if you have made that much

That you’ve got plenty of it to burn!

So, when the National Lottery started

I thought, “Is it worth all the fuss?”

Perhaps it will benefit the nation

And the charities that depend upon us.

The odds against winning are enormous

You’re more likely to be hit by a train!

But you bet a big slice of your wages

And it all slips away, down the drain!

But if it’s a people’s national lottery,

And the profits go to a very good cause

It helps to salve individual conscience

And turns a few wolves from the doors.

In truth our scheme has gone a bit sour.

Instead of the nation getting the lot,

Most profits were quickly diverted,

To America, via the firm Camelot!

There was talk of Mafia connection

And underhand dealings as well

And payouts retained by Camelot

So all was not well, you could tell.

But, as the contract came to and end,

There were many cries for a quick need to pause

And consider a British organisation

Giving much more to a selected good cause.

To the front of the queue strode a leader

An entrepreneur with vision and flair

Who outlined ways to a new future

And the steps to take us right there.

Not only was he a talker

He demonstrated his prowess as well

And got the thumbs up from the nation

Funds for good causes would start to swell.

 But we reckoned without altercation

And Camelot began to fight

Using every trick it could find in it’s book

To put Branson in very sore plight!

They hit upon favourite politicians

Then all of the people with sway

They weren’t going to take this lightly.

And have their plunder taken away!

So what seemed to be a sure winner

That Virgin would win out at last

Became a national sensation

When their effort was suddenly bypassed!

No”, said the chairman, “I’ve decided.

And I don’t need to talk to ‘that lot’

I’m very attracted by the other side.

And the winner is …. Camelot!”

You could have knocked me down with a feather!

What a crass and classic mistake

From such an eminent chairman

Who surely can’t be ‘on the take’?

So we’re stuck with an American Lottery.

The people’s scheme goes to the wall.

Well they can stick it up right up their T-shirts.

‘Cos I’m not going to do it at all!

We seem to be very talented,

There’s no other way it can be put

At depriving ourselves of opportunity,

And shooting ourselves in the foot,

Good luck to you Richard Branson

They’ve tried to make you look small

This insidious organisation

Is bound to take a big fall.

I hope that you’ve got a big pocket

With plenty of tricks stored therein

So you take the fight right back to them

And end up with a glorious win!

Because I want a true national lottery,

To which all the British nation flocks.

Where the benefits go to very good causes

And not to an American Fort Knox.

by N. Sanity.

Author: Trevor Durbidge     Copyright © 2001 [TJD].     All rights reserved.    Revised: October 30, 2007 .