From Harrogate to Brighton,

Not forgetting Bournemouth too.

Councillors and the Holiday Trade,

Are wondering what to do.

About that package holiday,

We're all buying up, abroad,

Where the sun is sure, prices are low,

And home holiday rates have soared.

It's not up to us,

The holiday trade claimed,

It's the local Council,

Which must be blamed!

They should use more,

From the local rate,

So that we can stay.

In a viable state!

To make quite sure,

That our business extends,

Far beyond the time,

When the school holiday ends!

Ratepayers should buy us,

A Conference centre,

That business and holiday makers,

Can enter.

It won't cost the ratepayers

All that much,

And you can always raise,

The Rates a touch!

All this, of course,

Is too good to be true,

Because conference delegates,

Don't come out of the blue!

There are only so many,

Conferences held each year,

And they're on the decline,

Very much, I fear!

The Marketeers,

And the tourist lads,

Are behaving

Like a lot of cads!

They must have done,

Their market research,

On top of the loftiest,

Remotest perch!

For, as they well know,

At the end of the day.

It's the dear old ratepayer,

Who's going to pay!

  There's not a Conference Centre, anywhere,

That's getting more of a financial share

To provide a satisfactory monetary return,

But then Council's have plenty of money to burn!

So the holiday trade,

Always gets its way,

And the same thing happened,

In Torbay!

We'll set up a Company,

At a reasonable price,

And pay the Officers,

To give the Director's advice.

And in this way,

It's plain to see,

That we will soar high,

To profitability.

What is not proclaimed,

In quite the same voice,

Is what happens,

When there's no cause to rejoice!

When staggering increases,

In Capital cost,

Are compounded by,

The immense revenue lost!

In a Riviera centre,

Which can't pay its way,

And which loses steadily,

Day by day!

The Council will once again,

Take the view,

That, dear old ratepayer,

It's down to you!

  By  U. Cofup.  

Author: Trevor Durbidge   Copyright © 2001 [TJD].   All rights reserved.    Revised: October 30, 2007 .

Top of the Page