An ode to my twin on his wedding day !
They were shaken right to the core,
You see, they wanted a perfect son,
But Andy came just ten minutes before!
Andy and I were good little lads,
We always liked going to school.
I was right at the top of the class
And Andy was nobody’s fool!
We’d help the other lads out, with their homework,
For them it was a bit of a treat!
I was glad to do it for nothing,
But Andy charged sixpence a sheet!
Of course we weren’t always angels!
And caused Mum & Dad many pains,
But when they’d had quite enough of us,
They’d hang us up, by our reins!
In truth we were a couple of terrors!
The neighbourhood held us in fear.
And though they often tried to catch us.
They never got anywhere near!
As twins we argued over everything
From games to food and to sport.
Even the length of our willies!
Where Andy is six inches short!
I remember when we had a dust-up!
Dad said, “Tell me what happened, don’t cry.”
I finally had to reveal that,
I’d given Andy the biggest black eye!
Now Andy’s a dab hand as a driver.
And thinks removals are a bit of a lark.
But he once lost his sense of direction,
And got wedged in a multi-storey car park!
He’s always known the right side of a tenner,
And making the most of a deal.
That’s why he’d rather take Helen to bed,
Than go out for a jolly good meal!
But Helen has found the perfect way to his heart!
As up the career ladder he climbs.
Instead of sending him birthday cards,
She sends him copies of the Financial Times!
For all his faults though, he’s my twin brother!
And I’m very proud to stand here today.
To ask you to lift up your glasses.
‘Cos, for once, he won’t ask you to pay!
So here’s to you Helen and Andy,
May you prosper and enjoy a long life.
A toast then, to my twin brother Andy,
And to Helen his beautiful wife!
Mike - Andy's Twin.
Written for Mike - best man at Andy's wedding - from stories related by Mike.
Durbidge Copyright © 2001 [TJD].
All rights reserved. Revised:
October 30, 2007