There was a time, when soccer used to be,
The favourite game of the nation.
The players were regarded as famous men,
And each had a wholesome reputation.
But our coaching methods have deprived players of skill,
And reduced their individual flair.
Work rate and defence became the keywords,
And that's all our clubs seemed to care !
The crowds became bored, hooliganism grew,
The yobs took over the stand.
Fist fights and stabbings became commonplace,
Throughout every ground in the land !
The last straw came, when the F.A.'s big men,
Demanded an impossible fee,
If soccer was going to continue,
To be seen on national TV!
Well the fee wasn't paid, soccer stayed off the screen,
And to other sports, we started to cotton.
The F.A. really did us quite a good turn,
Because this once national game, can stay forgotten !
But now the same thing is happening again
And there's lots and lots of intrigue.
To corner other great sporting events.
Like Rugby Union and Rugby League,
Satellite TV. has come onto the scene,
To steal all national sports away.
And the fans are screaming with horror.
Cos they're small clubs have got to call it a day !
It's another ploy by the big TV. boys,
To continue their dastardly mission,
To hog all the good sports unto themselves.
A case for the monopolies commission !
Our national pride has gone to the wall.
We can't see our teams compete
Unless we subscribe to Sky TV.
So we've had to vote with our feet!
They can keep it, as far as I am concerned,
There's much more in life I can do,
Go for a walk or play some golf,
It's so much better for you!
Yes, I know that you're right, I do sometimes yearn
To see our internationals at play,
But if it means paying a heavy premium to Sky
Then I, for one, am staying away!
I never though that it would come to this,
Having to put up with all this paraphernalia,
Being prevented from watching my national teams,
By some hard faced tycoon from Australia!
Author: Trevor Durbidge Copyright © 2001 [TJD]. All rights reserved. Revised: October 30, 2007 .