Now, just where the heck have I put it?

I had it a moment ago.

Are you sure that you didn't pick it up?

I don't usually don't lose things, you know!

I swear my glasses were on the table

You saw me reading that book,

I was sitting in my favourite armchair.

Would you mind just having a look?

I know that I'm getting on in age,

And I'm not as fast as before,

But now my memory is fading fast,

I can't think clearly anymore.

I made some tea the other day,

And sat down to watch the view.

When I reached out, to take a sip,

Instead of one cup, there were two!

Where did the first one come from?

Am I losing my mental hold?

One was really piping hot,

But the other one was stone cold!

Car keys are my other problem,

They have a mind of their own.

At the very time that I want them,

They find a hiding place, unknown!

I'm sure that I put them here you know.

I'm absolutely certain, sure!

Where did you say you found them?

On the garage floor?

As for birthdays and anniversaries,

I write them down, for I  dare not risk it!

If you had to pick someone, whose bound to forget,

Then I surely do take the biscuit!

I had a shock just recently.

The telephone rang, with ominous intent.

"You're supposed to be here at the golf club,

Playing in the vets tournament!"

Will it ever get better, I ask myself?

Will my memory ever improve?

Is there a wizard out there somewhere?

Who can get me back in the groove?

I have to admit, it'll never come back.

I even forget to go to my bed

I went upstairs the other day

And finished up in the bathroom instead!

I heard several knocks upon the door

And was filled with terrible dismay

I hitched up my 'trews' and dashed outside,

To find myself coming, from the other way!

It isn't a joke to me anymore.

I'm filled with trouble and doubt,

Oh! Just before you go upon your way,

Can you tell me what I've been talking about?

by Vak Yoom

Author: Trevor Durbidge   Copyright © 2001 [TJD].    All rights reserved.  Revised: October 30, 2007 .