stands there, in his handsome uniform.
in his eye there's a gleam.
not just admiring the scenery,
there as one of a team.
looks at your luggage and then at your face
amazing just what he can tell.
had a few tips on psychology,
on human nature as well.
detect the odd bulge, a face turning red,
move in quick, with consummate grace.
me please, just step over here
like to examine your case."
I do feel queer, can I sit over here?"
says, as she's just passing by.
he found the contraband, inside her hat.
she's had a very good try!
look here my man, I can't hang about.
train goes, at quarter past three."
the white plastic packets were uncovered, he said
just have to come along with me!"
turban seemed to be a funny shape.
the corner it was almost square.
didn't have stacks of poppies inside.
it certainly had a very good share!
have a whisky, put up your feet!"
ship's captain was ever so bold.
declined, continued the search; it was there.
a pipe, just to the side, in the hold.
do admit I'm just over the quota,"
said with such a beautiful smile.
took a quick look and very soon found out.
passed it by many a mile!
come along Sir, I'll bet you don't dare,
my belongings to grope."
was tempted but decided to refer her on.
her brassiere was filled up with dope!
admire you chaps, standing out in all weathers.
only doing your duty."
you sir, I'll just examine your car."
places were filled up with booty!
Priest was angelic, with a lovely white collar.
though surrounded by thugs.
when they examined the bible he carried.
'cut out' was filled up with drugs!
limousine drew up, the chauffeur looked sad.
engine's 'missing', it regularly backfires."
no time at all, they'd uncovered the stuff.
inside each one of the tyres!
box of fruit was beautifully presented.
sir, take a nice ripe banana."
thank you, not now," he said with a smile.
he uncovered bags of marijuana.
gets past, I am sure.
conversion to container freight.
much more difficult to examine the load.
it does make investigators irate.
every imagine, Mr. Amateur.
you've got an original thought.
take any chances, is my advice.
you want to avoid being caught!
to stay within the limit.
if you do that, you can.
the dear old Customs man!
Trevor Durbidge Copyright © 2001 [TJD].
All rights reserved. Revised:
October 30, 2007